Listen to My Tears

 November 8, 2021 Everystudent School Assignment Part 1 ----------------------- Everystudent's Battle of Darkness  Darkness spread across the world she lived in.  Light barely shining through.  The every student walked,  And stumbled,  For years on end through this.  For seven long years had she struggled to see in the black of night.  It spanned for miles,  Touching one town and another.  It spanned across three homes,  The closet of which had been almost completely lost to her in the dark. It spanned for more than seven years of her life,  That she will never get back.  That pain, a suffering to immeasurable to bear any more,  Had exhausted her of almost all her resources. When the smallest light would shine through,  Breaking the darkness like tiny cracks on a sidewalk,  A tidal wave would come,  Smashing her against rocks and trees;  Anything it could to remind her who's in charge.  To rem...

October 31, 2021 don't know what to do I don’t know what to do anymore  I feel like my life is going no where  Am i on the right path  Is there even a right path Everything i do seems to lead me to despair and misery  I can’t find happiness in anything  I can’t find the will to write  The one thing i thought i had going for me  I can’t work in the medical field  Although everyone would love me too  I can’t do anything anymore  That’s all that it feels like  I feel like there is nothing ahead of me  There is just darkness and depression  And a worthless life not worth living 

October 3, 2021 glorified hell  Nothing makes me more depressed than school  Than having to “work” with other people  And having to do fucking useless assignments that will amount to nothing but a grade in the end  I hate the fucking bullshit teachers force useless information down our throats  And dreams that will be crushed by the reality of life  Everything will amount to nothing when this semester is done I’ll still be fucking stuck at JCPenney's  Hating my job more than physically possible  Hating my life more than i already do now  I will amount to nothing at the end of this semester  You know what i will have?  An associates degree that will get me no where because everyone and their fucking mother wants you to attend a 4-year college and get a bachelors degree for an entry level job  I will amount to being someone's glorified, paid assistant  If I'm even that fucking lucky  There's nothing left in this world t...

September 10, 2021 everything is worse now  People are not trash  They are not things you throw away you think you’re done with them  We make mistakes  We fuck up... Like- a lot.  But a normal human forgives and forgets  I forgive and forget  But of course- you don’t care  You won’t read this  You won’t care ever again it seems  You ignored me for a week  And then threw me to the side like something you had no use for anymore  “It wasn’t just this one thing.  There were a lot of things that I pushed to the side.”  How about you just fucking tell me and except it  Like i accepted the fact that you disappear 3 weeks out of the month  Or that you cancel plans for the smallest of reasons  Or that you just can’t seem to understand that i was fucking upset  I was mad cuz this stupid fucking dilapidated hell house i live in was falling apart  And everyone in it was screaming at me for no reason ...

July 3, 2021 collapse  I wanna cry today  I'm not really sure why  But all I want to do right now is cry  Crawl up into a ball and cry until the world is ended  I don’t know if it’s exhaustion or just plain old depression popping up for it’s daily visit  But all I want to do is cry  I'm tired of people  And uncertainty  And plans that will be canceled before they could even begin  Nothing goes right  Something always falls off the wagon or is displaced and I'm left to pick up the pieces of a shattered mess  One week  I only wanted one week and now I won’t be getting it  I know I won’t be getting it  Leo doesn’t want to deal with Ravi  And they probably won’t have a house ready by the time we’re meant to go  So once again I’m left in the dust  The sand caked inside my lungs and burning within my body I don’t even know if I want to go anymore  I don’t even know if I want to do anything anymore...