27.

September 10, 2021

everything is worse now 

People are not trash 

They are not things you throw away you think you’re done with them 

We make mistakes 

We fuck up...

Like- a lot. 

But a normal human forgives and forgets 

I forgive and forget 

But of course- you don’t care 

You won’t read this 

You won’t care ever again it seems 

You ignored me for a week 

And then threw me to the side like something you had no use for anymore 

“It wasn’t just this one thing. 

There were a lot of things that I pushed to the side.” 

How about you just fucking tell me and except it 

Like i accepted the fact that you disappear 3 weeks out of the month 

Or that you cancel plans for the smallest of reasons 

Or that you just can’t seem to understand that i was fucking upset 

I was mad cuz this stupid fucking dilapidated hell house i live in was falling apart 

And everyone in it was screaming at me for no reason 

But of course all you care about is that I said one thing while i was mad at the world 

I hope you know you’ve ruined everything for me

Every human interaction will now be filled with the constant of 

“Is this too far?” 

“Will they like it if I say this?” 

“Should I just keep my mouth shut?”

Now, every single person i meet

I’m gonna be thinking of the day that I’ll screw up and they’ll do what you did 

That everyone will fucking leave me 

You say “take care of yourself”

I’ve been fucking doing that for a decade now 

And i'm tired of it 

I'm tired of having to be the one to fix seemingly everything 

I'm tired of having to somehow make everything perfect when absolutely no one appreciates it 

I’m tired of being alone and ignored 

I’m tired of everything 

And you just made it so much worse