39.

 July 5, 2022

faces 

I hate people’s faces. 

It's why eye contact is such a hard thing for me to make. 

I can't watch a person's face with the same sad excuse of an expression; 

Often disappointment, 

Or annoyance, 

Or straight up disdain.

Everyone seems to have a problem with the way I go through life, 

Probably because I shuffle through it.

I don't walk or stroll or skip through the day… 

I stumble and drag my feet in exhaustion of existence. 

I can't stand there and have a conversation knowing that in the back of their mind, 

There is only the thought of “why does she look like shit again today?” 

Or “why is she so lazy?”

Or “why wont she work when the depression is drowning he so far in the deep darkness that she feels it'll just be easier to let her entire fucking body go into ruin instead of just slitting her wrists or putting a bullet through her own head?” 

Yea. 

Those kinds of thoughts are the reason I can't handle looking people in the eye. 

Because I've failed at every sad step of my life. 

Hell, I can’t even muster up the fucking guts to end this shit once and for all.