37.

May 19, 2022

There's Your Answer 

What do you want from me? 

You want me to magically have an answer to every question you pose? 

Or feel the need to find the good in a life I’m tired of living? 

I can’t give you answers that I don’t know myself

Why did I see this doctor? 

Why do you want a psychologist? 

What do you want to do with your life?

I 

DON’T

KNOW

I go to doctors because my grandmother makes me 

I don’t know why I want a psych when they’re not even gonna help me in the end 

I have absolutely no answer to any fucking question you pose 

I just do it even though in the end I’ll be forty steps back from where I stand 

There’s no choice in my life

It’s just a "fucking do it" situation 

If I could do what I wanted, 

Without repercussions and an infinite amount of resources at my disposal, 

I still probably wouldn’t know what the fuck to do. 

.

.

.

Actually, I do. 

I’d fucking end it. 

There’s your damn answer.