35.

May 2, 2022

Invisible

I stand alone in my bathroom and cry again tonight 

These four blue tiled walls are the place my tears are stifled 

Where the world won't hear my screams in silent pain.

I've come to realize that being alone, 

Which once seemed to be the thing I feared most, 

Is only the half of it. 

Not only am I alone,

I'm invisible. 

To my family.

To my coworkers. 

To my friends  

To everything and everyone. 

I've become something people walk all over 

And ignore at their own will.

People choose when to see me;

When to notice I'm there.

I can scream and cry and beg for even the slightest glimpse,

But they never glance my way. 

They see me when it's convenient for them, 

Not when I'm in desperate need of their help. 

The only place people seem to care is in my dreams, 

Where before my mind falls to sleep, I can make people see me. 

But as the world fades to black and my subconscious takes control,

It's all the same loneliness again.

I've begun to believe that no one will miss me when I'm gone. 

To my job, I am an associate easily replaced. 

To my family, I am a cousin no one cared for.

And to my friends, I am just another lost page to their stories. 

I feel like I've run off the edge of the world. 

I choke on no air, 

Salty tears cloud my eyes and blur my vision,

And I am left falling into oblivion.

To be with the rest of the forgotten.

Alone. 

Invisible. 

And never to be remembered.

Down here,

We scream with no voice 

We cry with no eyes 

We feel nothing

We walk in the dark

Stumbling from one station to the next in a never ending loop 

We trip and tumble over each other without ever seeing the face

We are many 

But we are buried in solitude 

We are millions of bodies 

But we feel no one else

We are alone 

And we always will be.