15.

January 14, 2020

a way out 

I’m trapped 

Caged 

Muzzled and silenced 

I can’t speak with someone yelling at me for something 

I can’t do anything locked inside a place i hate 

I hate the city 

I hate it’s people 

I hate the house I live in 

I hate the people I live with 

I hate it all 

This was meant to be temporary 

But here I am two years later 

Still stuck in a place I can’t stand 

With people I’ve grown to be so annoyed with I can’t even have a conversation 

Sometimes I think death is the only way out 

The only escape at this point 

There’s no point left in my life 

There’s only five people who would miss me and none of them are family…

At least, not biologically 

I made my own family 

It’s full of people who understand me 

Who give a crap about me 

Who don’t start a fight with me after one word 

They are my friends but also my siblings 

They are my brother and sisters

My parents when i need them to be 

They are the five single threads holding me to this world 

We joke a lot about buying a big house and all of us living together 

But i don't want it to be a joke 

I want it to be real 

I want a way out of this cage 

I want a way out of this life 

I want a way out of this house that is not a home 

I want a way out